this broadcast is a test — Vic

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Hello everyone, welcome to WOSL Radio.

For all the first-time listeners—which I suppose is all of you—I’ll answer this question: Why is it called WOSL? Because we are the only station left.

Now, as you all know, it’s looking pretty grim out there with the scrubbers and whatnot, just trying to scrub us for no reason other than for fun. But don’t worry! The situation is improving. Those eggheads figured out how to completely sanitize a small area, so they tested it on this radio station. I’d tell you the results, but if you’re smart enough for the scrubbers to want to scrub you, you’re smart enough to infer what happened.

Announcements#

Now, a few announcements.

My science buddy, Doctor Hughes, told me to tell everyone that trying to kill and cook scrubbed animals is a bad idea. It will not be good, and you could very well die.

Now, how can you tell if one’s scrubbed? Remember the three U’s:

  • Unsafe behavior
  • Upwards looking
  • Unnatural placement — if they aren’t naturally in that area

If it’s somewhere it shouldn’t be, doing something it shouldn’t be, looking somewhere it shouldn’t be, then you shouldn’t be eating it.

He’s also asked that I clarify for wannabe action stars: those humans scrubbed are NOT zombies. They won’t directly hurt you. Leave them alone and keep your distance. The scrubbers keep them alive for some reason, and there’s a chance that we could save them in the future.

Anyways, I know it’s been hard for everyone—obviously—so I’m gonna give y’all a gift.

Here’s “Basket Case” by Green Day.

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