just clearing up some misconceptions — Vic

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Hello everyone. This is WOSL, broadcast number 2.

Now, we are working on expanding the reach of the station beyond the Virginia area. Both of my bosses told me that there were some misconceptions that needed to be cleared up.

Misconception Number One#

No one we know of is immune to scrubbers.

This isn’t a zombie movie. The number of people scrubbed in America alone is in the millions. The number of people immune to scrubbers is zero. The odds of being immune to scrubbers so far is literally lower than a million to one. Don’t try it. Everyone is special, but no one is THAT special.

Misconception Number Two#

Those who disobey the shelter laws aren’t patriots or rebels or anything—they are idiots.

The only way to be fully immune to scrubbers is to wear a full hazmat suit. Methods of protection like masks and stuff don’t work well. Just stay indoors, and it will all be fine.

Misconception Number Three#

There aren’t scrubbers in the water supply. Not in a way that matters.

How scrubbers work is that when they enter water, the body dissolves after a period of time. This releases the proteins that scrub the mind and nerves. Those proteins need the casing to cause any damage beyond some slight stomach troubles. If you boil the water, the scrubbers die faster. Just boil the water you drink, and it should be fine.

Misconception Number Four#

We know about places like Freton. We do.

We have drones and scout teams. We tolerate you because we have bigger fish to fry. If you just follow the shelter laws, we won’t have an issue.

Misconception Number Five#

We are a government-owned radio station, but that doesn’t mean they tell us things.

I’ve gotten several requests to tell you guys where the scrubbers came from. I’d tell you if I could. Please understand that either no one knows or no one cares to tell us. I’m just a low-level soldier who can and likes to work a radio.

Anyways, that was today’s broadcast. Here’s some Beach Boys.

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